Reading Dairy B: Aesop's Fables (Winter)

So the fable, The Mischievous Dog, from Aesop's Winter Fables, kinda reminds me of hockey goons. A goon is a type of player who may not necessarily be great at hockey – but is most definitely great at fighting. He is there as a deterrent to opposing players to keep them from messing with star players, usually stars who are very young.

The 2005-06 NHL season, is the Pittsburgh Penguins’ Sidney Crosby’s rookie season. Crosby was known as “The Next One” – a reference to Wayne Gretzky.

Wayne Gretzky, the only player to have his number retired league-wide, and Sidney Crosby, arguably the best player in the game today.

[Sidebar: Gretzky a.k.a. “The Great One” whose 20 year hockey career had been spent setting impossible records. Gretzky is the only player to ever accumulate 200 points in one season. And he did it twice. The only other player who ever came close was Mario Lemieux (Crosby’s future mentor) who, during the 1988-1989 season, finished the season with 199 points (this is the same season in which he became the only player to score five goals in all five ways possible during a single game).]

The ‘05-‘06 and ‘06-‘07 season were difficult for Crosby. He had developed the unfortunate reputation as a whiner – something common to many of the very young players who break into the NHL early. He has since outgrown this, but the cause is simple: Crosby and his fellow superstar rookie, Evgeni Malkin (who had just made a daring escape from the RSL), were often the victims of brutal hits that were mostly ignored by the linesmen (referees).

So, during the summer of 2007, the Penguins acquired Georges Laraque – who, standing at 6’3”, weighing 240 lbs, and with more than 100 fights under his belt, he was given one task: protect the young stars. And he did an excellent job. According to HockeyFights, Laraque was in 13 fights during the ’07-’08 season – winning all but three (one loss and two draws according to voters on the site). Laraque would only stay for one season, not uncommon for goons – often signing only 1-3 year contracts with as many as four, five, or even six different teams.

Georges Laraque isn't an easy guy to knock over. [source]

The thing about goons is this: in order to stay on a team, they have to win fights. This can lead to insecurities and increasingly erratic behavior as seen with Marty McSorley’s slash on Donald Brashear and Steve Downie’s dangerous hit on Sidney Crosby.  The effects of an entire career spent as a goon is shown in the documentary The Last Gladiators.  Many nights spent fighting result can result in concussions and sub-concussions, leading to CTE (or Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy), depression, alcohol and drug abuse, and suicide (2011 alone saw the deaths of three enforcers).

The dog in The Mischievous Dog, is “ill-natured” and had to be restrained by a clog. Goons who go overboard are restrained not by clogs, but through their reputations proceeding them which in turn leads to unfair treatment by game officials.  For example, when Steve Downie was elbowed in the face by Ryan Suter, there was no call on the ice.